when a friend does something nice for you for no reason



it’d be cool to speak like 20 different languages & keep it a secret from everyone & then during a time of crisis, u could speak some fluent russian to some russian guy holding a gun to your head & all your friends will be like daaamn


(brushes crumbs off bed) yea baby hop on in


Where’s my Olympic gold medal for enduring this piece of shit called the tumblr mobile app

what if every spider i’ve ever crushed thought it was like, living in my house with me the whole time and one day i just flew off the handle and murdered it. like it just thought we were hanging out together.

has every spider died while feeling a sense of betrayal.


whenever i reblog my own posts i feel like im gretchen weiners trying to make fetch happen

famous people might have fans but i have airconditioning 




What’s the difference between america and yogurt?

If u leave yogurt alone for 200 years it will develop a culture

this was like the sickest burn I’ve ever seen


I respect bees more than I respect white men in positions of power


Mercutio: Romeo, mah Bromeo, I love you man, but no homeo.

Romeo: Bruh